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1/02/2013

Update

"I have fallen a long way..." -Sylvia Plath

Dear Followers (or whoever is left here listening),
     I feel so lost. Leaving high school was good for me, I know it was. I felt so trapped there. and so alone. For a while I thought that simply being free from there would make everyting better. But it hasn't.
     Being in and then out of high school is much like being a balloon. You're held down, but you long to fly, so you're cut loose. But once you take flight you realize that you don't have control of anything; no wings. You free fly upwards and you don't know where you're heading.

I wish I could find the ground again...
 
I have a boyfriend now. A boy I used to write poems about. I have loved him for almost two/three years and now we've been together since September. I lost my virginity to him.
 
But it's not perfect. Of course, what is? We make each other happy, for the most part. But alone. away from each other, our own demons set in. I don't have anyone else anymore. My best friend now spends every waking moment outside work with her boyfriend. They bought each other best friend necklaces. I haven't seen her in a month.
 
 
 My other friends are A. Nuts B. frustrating as hell and C. away at college.
 
 Meanwhile, I'm at Community College. Alone.
 
It just hits me sometimes, like tonight,
 
How alone I am.
 
And nothing,
 
Nobody,
Can save me from that.



4 comments:

Barry said...

God it's been too long since I've been here, I've been terrible. No excuses.

It's good to hear about the new boy, I hope he's treating you as well as you deserve.

Miss you, I'm glad you're following the new blog!

Melee said...

Ever, my sweet! How wonderful to see a post from you. :) I was thinking about you the other day and missing you!

Aww, the story about you and your boy is very sweet. But I'm sorry you're feeling isolated from friends and haunted in the spaces between his presence.

Hope you are well otherwise. ♥

Unashamed Girl said...

you should absolutely lovely. i love reading through your posts. youre not alone, i promise :)

Ryan Cureton said...

Annnd little did she know...