"I have fallen a long way..." -Sylvia Plath
Dear Followers (or whoever is left here listening),
I feel so lost. Leaving high school was good for me, I know it was. I felt so trapped there. and so alone. For a while I thought that simply being free from there would make everyting better. But it hasn't.
Being in and then out of high school is much like being a balloon. You're held down, but you long to fly, so you're cut loose. But once you take flight you realize that you don't have control of anything; no wings. You free fly upwards and you don't know where you're heading.
I wish I could find the ground again...
I have a boyfriend now. A boy I used to write poems about. I have loved him for almost two/three years and now we've been together since September. I lost my virginity to him.
But it's not perfect. Of course, what is? We make each other happy, for the most part. But alone. away from each other, our own demons set in. I don't have anyone else anymore. My best friend now spends every waking moment outside work with her boyfriend. They bought each other best friend necklaces. I haven't seen her in a month.
My other friends are A. Nuts B. frustrating as hell and C. away at college.
Meanwhile, I'm at Community College. Alone.
It just hits me sometimes, like tonight,
How alone I am.
Can save me from that.