I'm working up to the ultimate update post.

I've accumulated a few fears regarding who reads this.

But I know whoever remains here is trustworthy.

On another note, can anyone active make yourselves known? I'm trying to clean house... so many blogs I loved have gone inactive. I can only hope that it means they are all doing well and truly living as I have been.

There's no more sadness in my heart. Not that it's gone, but that it isn't the crushing emptiness that it once was. I'm here, breathing in ways I never thought that I would again. And if I leave again (though I dont plan to), know this:

I'm here.

I'm living.

I'm happy.

"I don't know if I will have the time to write anymore letters because I might be too busy trying to participate. So if this does end up being the last letter I just want you to know that I was in a bad place before I started high school and you helped me. Even if you didn't know what I was talking about or know someone who has gone through it, you made me not feel alone. Because I know there are people who say all these things don't happen. And there are people who forget what it's like to be 16 when they turn 17. I know these will all be stories someday. And our pictures will become old photographs. We'll all become somebody's mom or dad. But right now these moments are not stories. This is happening, I am here and I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful. I can see it. This one moment when you know you're not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you're listening to that song and that drive with the people you love most in this world. And in this moment I swear, we are infinite."


Barry and Leila said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Barry and Leila said...

I can't tell you how happy it makes me to read these words. What a truly heartlifting way to end my day. Simply wonderful!

~ Barry

Jade said...

I can definitely understand how scary it is to share your heart with strangers and to not know who is reading, but at the same time, I personally try to remember that I want myself to be attuned to truth and unashamed, to be part of a community in whatever form. So that is why I blog. :) And I've visited your blog from time to time, impressed and blessed by what I see. Keep writing, and thanks for joining mine :)

Rachel said...

Hi, thank you for your comments, I would love you to come with me, but its not going anywhere fast, but I promise when I get it done ill tell you where it is :) thanks again, and I hope youre doing ok